Noise Within: A discord with myself

The inner world getting noisier I often hear.
And, I heard it yesterday too.

“The outer world is getting noisier”, I often hear people say.

The regular hum of the fans and ACs that you no longer even notice, clinging cutlery, whirling blenders, swirling washing machines, rowdy vacuum cleaners that are chores of your daily lives.

The screeching alarm wakes you up when you sleep past midnight glaring the noisy screen of your mobile with your child sitting next to you playing on his raucous play station.

There is ambulance wailing at distance, cycles whizzing by, buses moaning and screeching to abrupt halts, cars speeding by, playing trumpets in the market and there is regular chatter of the passers-by.

Then there is noise of what you said to him and what she said to you; and, also the noise of the ‘hello’ he waved at you while insulting you under his breath.

“The outer world is getting noisier”, I often hear people say.

I also hear people longing for the silence when there was no one but them, sitting on the grass as soft as velvet, at the very top of the hill that overlooked the part of their school building. People yearning to wake up and to fall asleep to the sound of Qur’an and that of tweeting of birds, I listen too.

“Because the roar of the outer world is getting even noisier too”, they say.

Yesterday I was sitting on the beach, a calm one. The sea had softly doused the beach as the waves gently kissed the sand and hugged the rocks. The sea was vaporously exhaling its mist far from the city noise. Soft winds blew gently through my crepe abaya and murmured in my ears nothing but comfort. A place where the waves hit my feet and the rocks were my seat, there was sky above and the water beneath; there was still NO peace within. It was noisy inside.

A place where the waves hit my feet and the rocks were my seat, there was sky above and the water beneath; there was still NO peace within.

There was noise inside arguing with myself. I heard the voices shutting up the temptations when they said, ‘do it’. The cacophony of the refutations when they said, ‘it’s not right’. I heard the blah-blah my competence did and the blast my commitment had. I heard the buzz of my desires too.

The inner world getting noisier I often hear.
And, I heard it yesterday too.

I realised no matter how silent it gets outside it can not harvest a deep inner silence if it is noisy inside. And, no matter how noisy it is outside it can not stir you inside if it is peaceful within.

And, the inner world getting noisier whenever I listen, I know it’s the time to work upon the ‘inner’ itself. As I know that to run away from the outer noise merely won’t avail anything when there is discord within.

“The ones who believe and their hearts are peaceful with the remembrance of Allah. Listen, the hearts find peace only in the remembrance of Allah.”

[AL-QUR’AN; 13:28]

With the Dua to the Turner of hearts to keep my heart steadfast on His path.
يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِي عَلَى دِينِكَ

I ask for you too and for all of us; all peace and all steadfastness. Aameen!

Sisterly Yours
The Might of Pen

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