A Note for Those Who Think, “I am Too Bad for God’s Mercy”

Currently having a bad phase in life?
You think your sins are too many for God’s forgiveness?
You think you are not blessed enough?
And, you think the only reason why bad things happening to you is God being angry with you?

This note is for you. You really need to read this!

Sometimes back I was sitting in a gathering of a few ladies, totally absorbed in what one of them was narrating. She was telling passionately about a pious lady in her connections back in India. My interest grew even stronger when she mentioned the name of the clan the lady belonged to. I had actually heard a lot about a famous early scholar from the same family and had read one of his books as well. I was listening keenly how devotedly she prays, what all she does, how detached she is from the wordly charms, etc.

“And, MashaAllaah she has many kids”, the lady said.

As soon as the lady mentioned this, another lady who was sitting there looked straight into my eyes and said, “Jabhi to”.
“The blessing of kids is bestowed only on those whom Allaah loves.”

At that moment, it had been hardly a week that I had another miscarriage (and she knew about that).

Our eyes met clearly. That’s a different thing that she stole her glance so quickly as if her own conscience cursed her from within. She knew well what she meant.

I was not ashamed. May be not this time. Not because I had gained some divine strength from somewhere but because that I knew that these are the only ways in which her self-esteem could feel some better.  And, Allaah knows best.

Having said that, should I say it doesn’t hurt?
It hurts. It breaks your heart. It cripples your spirit. It debilitates your persona.

No, I am not talking about ‘not having kids’.
It is not even about such green-eyed people around you who leave no chance to take a dig on you, no matter how cheap.
Neither, I am talking about such toxic notions.

For that matter I am not talking about any particular deficiency or disaster in your life, be it childlessness, physical ailment, financial turmoil or anything else.

I am talking about the worst doubt one can ever have in times of difficulty, “Allaah’s mercy is not for me”.
Trust me, no matter how strong you are, this can creep into your mind. And, once it starts breeding inside, there is no hope left.

SubhanAllaah!
Only if we knew how many doors of ‘evil’ this single thought could open, we would never ever dare to speak on behalf of Allaah SWT and would not even think of making somebody feel like this no matter how much we dislike or hate them.

Anyways.
What can save you from this; from having such atrocious notions about somebody and from ruining your Imaan when somebody tries to feed this in your mind?

The answer is…
Ilm (knowledge)
Ilm (knowledge)
Ilm (knowledge)
Acquiring sound knowledge about God and your creed.

(Regarding what the lady said) Yes, I know that I am a sinner and it is quite likely that I am being punished. I also fear a great deal about my scarce acts of worship or goodness. I might be the worst person on this earth to be worthy of blessing of motherhood. However, what I strongly-strongly-strongly condemn here is the notion that ‘bad things happen to only bad people & good things happen to good people’.

Dear Brothers & Sisters
I know what it feels like when bad things happen in life. However, the worst of all is to lose your faith in Allaah SWT and to attribute to Him false assumptions about His ways. In the worst-case scenarios even if whatever bad happening to you is God’s wrath on you, it is His mercy. The expiation of sins in this world only has a lot of good for you only if you know.

It is essential to educate ourselves about divine decree, basic principle of Qadr, names & attributes of Allaah SWT, His Book, the path of His messenger (PBUH) so that we do not get deceived by ‘what somebody has and what somebody does not.’ In Allaah’s kingdom the worst denier ‘firaun’ enjoyed the best of this world and His ‘khaleel’ Prophet Ibraheem (PBUH) suffered the greatest trials. The opposite is also true. Some of the best Prophets and many of the best companions were granted the most luxurious lives, while many of the worst transgressors always remained deprived. It’s not black & white and none of us has the right to pass on judgments on behalf of God.

So, smile. Do not underestimate Allaah’s love and mercy. Keep the head high and remain steadfast even if you are the most deprived person on the earth. Having said that, also not miss the golden chance of fixing your bad ways as Allaah SWT is also swift in taking account.

Time to Change Your Perspective to Cope with Pain and Be Grateful, When Bad Things Happen to You in Life!

I wrote a detailed write-up in light of Qur’an and Hadeeth with authentic links that delve deeper into matters of creed (Read here).

Stay Tuned to read and to share it with those who need it most before the green-eyed around them feed the best of their interests…
And, before it’s too late.

Give Hope, Not Tears.

Sisterly Yours
The Might of Pen

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