After all not everything in life has to be taken that seriously…
No. I am not suffering from PBA 😦. I really don’t think so 🙄. I never had any brain injury nor any other neurological disorder.
Then what was that 🤔?
From last week, I was crying over something. I had no control over my thoughts. I couldn’t do anything much productive. I couldn’t focus on anything…just a discussion about somebody…that stirred up bitter memories…just a ‘blah blah’ from a wide-mouthed (together with a narrow mind) nobody somebody; and, I felt emotionally ruined, totally upset for days. Salah. Dua. Tauz. Counseling. Food. Outing. This and That; but, nothing was working.
And, today I am laughing hysterically 😯.
I wonder if this mood-incongruent behavior is not PBA (pseudobulbar affect), then what it is 🤨.
[TIME TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST]
Well, it was not only me laughing that way. We all were just laughing and laughing over a small joke in class. The epidemic of laughter just burst forth in the class.
Enough. Enough. OK. OK.
Everybody else had come to stall but the PJ queen was still laughing 🤭.
I failed to stop myself.
Suddenly I realized where I was sitting. I felt bad that I am behaving that way in a gathering of Qur’an; and, forced myself to behave as I felt it against the etiquette of learning.
Seeking refuge in Allaah, I forced myself to control my giggles.
I started reading.
🌹Al Haaqqah. Mal Haaqqah. Wa maa adraaka mal Haaqqah.
(The inevitable reality. What is the inevitable reality? And what will make you realize what the inevitable reality is?) 🌹
It was chapter 69 in Qur’an, al-Haaqqah. We were reading about the inevitable reality of the judgment day.
By Allaah, I felt so ashamed. It was me…just a few moments back rolling around with the laughter, giggling and winking to friends with chapter ‘Al-Haaqqah’ laid open in hands and words ‘Al Haaqqah. Mal Haaqqah’ on the tongue; while our Prophet (PBUH) and his great companions (RA) used to tremble and cry in fear reading such verses.
Not only me but all of us realized and felt sorry. We were back to track again…studying.
However, what hit me hard was when I reached verse 14 of this chapter.
AND THE EARTH WITH ALL ITS MOUNTAINS WILL BE LIFTED UP AND CRUSHED WITH A SINGLE STROKE.
AllaahuAkbar Kabeera 🌹.
The ayah of this single stroke struck my heart and my mind.
I tried to imagine. I tried to find a simile. I couldn’t.
For a moment I just imagined…suddenly everything is lifted up to the skies and then left to fall free to be crushed into bits and pieces.
Then something happened…
The train of my thoughts entered into different terrain.
I tried to find myself and the person whose words were ruining my mental peace in those bits and pieces…I tried to find us in those shreds. We were nowhere.
Perhaps, we had turned into some subatomic particles that I couldn’t see.
By Allaah, I was back on the track.
My mind was suddenly at peace.
There was so no more bitterness in the heart.
That acid reflex too had gone.
Trust me. I had no hard feeling for that person anymore. I thanked Allaah SWT to open my eyes so that I could see how tiny specks we are on the deck of this vast universe and to make me realize that not everything in life has to be taken that seriously. I was redirected back to ‘me’ and ‘my priorities’.
I came back home and the thought of that trivial ‘blah-blah’ was nowhere. It was not hovering over my head anymore 🙂. It had vanished somewhere in that single stroke.
All I was left with was an echo that kept ringing in my ears…
Al Haaqqah. Mal Haaqqah. Wa maa adraaka mal Haaqqah.
Sisterly Yours 😊
The Might of Pen 🌹